Sharks TheyRe Just Not That Into You
“You can swim. What a literary genius.
Getting laid, venereal disease, not getting a venereal disease from getting laid… Hell, even falling coconuts are more likely to boot you out of this mortal coil than the love bite of a big fish. I even had a girlfriend once who made a point of waiting to see whether the water was safe before getting in herself.
My good friend Christopher Reeves – marine biologist by day, superhero by night – raised this incredibly exigent point during one of our many intellectual conversations. Rather it was an exercise he regularly brings up with the bright volunteers that help out at the Seymour Marine Discovery Centre at which he works in Santa Cruz, California. He asks his students to close their eyes and imagine swimming in a cold, dark ocean and I’m going to ask you to do the same right now…Imagine the feel of the cold salty water gripping your legs, arms and torso and the yawning depths of merciless dark seawater beneath you. What you don’t see outside of this frame is probably a massive chunk of bait… or an exceptionally unlucky photographer. This is a great white shark… the one made famous by Peter Benchley’s bestselling novel, Jaws, and later by Steven Spielberg’s 1975 film adaptation.
Most of what we know about sharks comes from their portrayal by movies such as Jaws , Open Water, Deep Blue Sea and a smattering of awful, completely scientifically inaccurate low budget films, the most recent of which being the truly horrendous Sharknado. I can assure you that the last thing on a shark’s mind while being flung through the air by freak atmospheric whirlwinds is grabbing a snack on the way to its doom.
But you can’t hide.”Wow.